no one cares

What gets me through the day?

It used to be easier, but now it seems impossible to find motivation. I used to have something to look forward to so that each day passes by quicker. Nowadays, everything is so mundane, so repetitive, so dull...

And it's hard to find someone who cares. Sometimes I feel like chatting with someone on AIM but no one ever initiates a conversation with me. I log on AIM hoping someone has something interesting to share with me--but it doesn't happen. Maybe I should uninstall, it seems like quite a pointless program.



PS: I am not emo.

more thoughts

I think as I grow older, I gain more confidence in myself. When I was a kid, I hated to go on stage and speak in front of a crowd. I still dislike it, but I know I will have to overcome this fear. In fact, I realized that it is not the presentation itself that gets to me, but the anticipation of going up that gives me the chills. On stage, I just go with the flow, I don't quite feel as nervous as when I am sitting there, waiting to go.

So next time I have a presentation, I think I'll volunteer to go first. Everyone else is just as worried, why should I be afraid? They aren't better than I am, so I have nothing to be afraid of. Next time, I will carry this mentality into my future presentation/public speaking.

stuff

I transferred from CVS to Walgreens. Hooray for that.

Shopping for things is very difficult. The other day I needed to buy a pair of black sneakers but I simply couldn't decide on what to get--mostly because of the price and the comfort level. Most sneakers these days are way too flashy and uncomfortable. So I ended up not buying anything, so my 4th of July was a big sham. Shammity sham sham I tell you.

hmm

I see ... blind people... all the time.

I don't know whether the number of blind people are increasing, or I'm simply seeing more blind people walking around. In the past two months, I'm pretty sure I've come across at least twenty blind people. It's very unfortunate to lose the ability to see, if I went blind I would probably get myself killed in the first week (accidentally). I have no idea how they continue their lives, hell I even saw a blind man go to Baruch. It's a frightening thought to lose sight... I don't even know how they cross the street.

Also, SYEP orientations are a complete waste of time.